A long-term monogamous relationship can be bright and unforgettable — sounds like utopia. But what if it’s not just fantasy? The author of the book “Love Worth Making” Steven Snyder suggests that only our inner sexuality is the key to fantastic sex, and she should be given the most attention.
In general, the advice outlined in this book does not apply only to long-term relationships or even married life. It is only important that passionate sex, imprinted in the memory of pleasure, occurs only after an understanding of your own sexual “me”. And sexual narcissism, according to a qualified psychologist and sexologist, is not only acceptable but literally necessary.
1. You must feel your inner sexuality
Truly passionate sex makes you feel special, confident, satisfied in your body and mind.
Most of the books, tutorials, talks about the right rhythm, the deep penetration and the atmosphere. Of course, the correct rhythm is better than inconsistent frictions, but remember the great sex you had. What are the chances that he was so good only because of the rhythm? Fancy or ambience — this is also fine, but your sexuality always needs something new.
In the bright sex works not only the body but also the mind, and heart. Emotion, which he filled, — not the desire and lust and gratitude. This is a very personal feeling and you can feel it somewhere deep.
2. You need to give space to your sexual.
Your inner sexuality is something that acts according to a certain set of rules. Basically, this sexual self is infantile and extremely vulnerable. He has no ability to overcome the difficulties that we take for granted. That is why sex is such an emotional experience for any person, and it can leave us either in a very good mood or in a very bad one.
3. Throw away delusions
According to the author, many patients simply do not realize the problems that live for many years. First and foremost, sex should mean pleasure and, therefore, to be good and bright. When you think about it from the point of view of sexual “me” is going to mean that you’re very attractive and your partner is no less attractive.
Internal sexuality is just as narcissistic as little children. She’s not worried that asking for too much. When you’re Horny, you’re very interested in your partner, but don’t want to know how his day was. Do you expect him to say that you are beautiful and want to be the most important person in the Universe?
To become a good lover, not so important to spend a lot of time thinking about the technique. Moreover, the wrong and the idea that if you behave selfishly in bed, do not get the connection with the partner. The reality is that erotic selfishness can lead to communication much faster than generous affection. If you enjoy a partner and are responsible for your own pleasure — then he can do the same without worrying about you.
I ask people: when you touch the body of your partner if you’re doing this for his pleasure or for his? They say it’s the latter. But often there’s no passion.
4. Follow the desire
It is much easier to get involved in a new relationship and succumb to passion in them than to restore the heat in those that last long enough. When I first take off someone’s clothes, you seem to break the invisible boundary, and everything seems dangerous and hot. Couples are often advised to try something new: Dating, new places, poses and kinky. According to Steven, this is all a manifestation of boredom.
If you imagine that inner sexy, “I” behaves like a child, any toy will get tired of him after only a week. It would be better to step back and let this sense of self-develop their potential.
The doctor recommends exercise awareness, to track, how exactly is the desire. It is possible to observe that the excitement comes and goes, but not to worry about it. Happy couples stay happy, not trying to find something new, and paying attention to small erotic details that occur in pairs. Enjoy every day — this is more useful.
5. Take responsibility for your pleasure.
Ideally, each person in the happy couple takes responsibility for arousal and orgasm. Part of the art of good sex is that you need to learn how to Express their desires but consider the fact that your partner is not there to enable them to carry out immediately.
It is a good rule that’s also not to do what we don’t like in bed. Not to do something only because it pleases the partner. Looking for a new practice that will please both of you, otherwise, none of you will be happy.
6. Keep in touch
Even in the worst days, you both need to find a few minutes to Express to each other their love. When you have no energy for sex — you can find the energy to other manifestations of tenderness and love.
Many couples avoid excitement, believing that it obliges them to have sex after that. Why light a fire if you’re going to put it out? But even a slight arousal can cause you to tone and also to recall why this man is so important to you.