If you are used to taking decisions itself, the relationship with a dependent on someone else’s opinion will be a guy or a perfect coincidence or accident. The realization that next to you is Mr helplessness does not come immediately. At the beginning of a relationship, autonomy is not even welcome; you are trying to be as flexible as possible and listen to each other. After a while, his constant questions “what should I do?” Do not look like respect to your opinion, but weakness. Here’s how to understand that your boyfriend lacks independence.
1. Too often appeals for help to their parents.
Like small have grown up and still, a reflex reaches for the phone to ask dad money for the car, or from your mom, what pill to drink for a headache. It is not in his boundless belief in parental authority, and that guy is not even trying to solve problems independently.
A sense of responsibility for their lives in these men remains in its infancy. He certainly never gave to do something on my own. How will he learn to repair the faucet if life only gave the father’s tools?
You’ll also encourage his helplessness – will have until the end of their days to explain how to turn a washing machine in which the Cabinet are socks and why you should not take credit for holidays in Turkey.
2. Can not cope with stress
A man comes to this world to solve the problem — otherwise why nature gave him a physical strength and absence of menstruation? Stress to him the usual, like a dream. Any obstacle is an opportunity to prove that he knowingly shave in the morning and uses the urinal in shopping malls.
Sorry that not all guys are so responsible attitude to their status. If your character falls into despair at the first sign of distress and remains in this mood until, until someone would save him, is a strong and independent will have to be you.
3. Creates Unnecessary Drama
Any drama performed by men unnecessarily. Nervous, to exaggerate, to watch and wait when the problem will understand that it is not who he was, and withdrew, needs one.
Weaklings suffer especially as noticeable, to get help. It is very dependent and unhealthy way to cope with difficulties.
To deprive the man from time to time lose my temper would be my side of blatant sexism. But to respond to every detail of dramatic sketches – this is an obvious manipulation.
4. Can not do anything alone
Another example of the Golden collection of male infantilism is the inability to go anywhere alone. All that it lacks independence, is to drink beer with friends. In most couples that I know, to go to the doctor, buy clothes or groceries for dinner a man can only under the direction of a girl or mother. Live guys 26 years old, heads of families aged under 40, reverent men are slightly over 50. And to blame women with their overpowering maternal instinct.
Before you complain about the domestic helplessness of her boyfriend, think, and aren’t you the Creator of this forever bewildered six-foot toddler? If he came home with it from my mom, it’s time to show the bird what life is. Do not confuse concern with care and don’t put on any extra responsibilities.
5. Not able to decide for themselves
It is one thing to seek the advice of a friend in a difficult situation, and the other to carry out a survey every time you need to make a decision. Think he’s too responsible and wants to weigh in? Actually, the guy is looking for someone to throw the blame in case of failure.
The dependent person is difficult to understand what he wants. Yes, most likely, the man will be easy to manipulate, if your authority will be more powerful than parental or social influence. But autocracy in the relationships inevitably get tired, and to seek partnership with such a guy is unlikely to succeed.
6. Avoids Conflict
It is easy to distinguish a patient man from terribly: the first one knows exactly where his boiling point is.
If the guy remains a bad job, is in a toxic relationship with a friend or relatives, realizes that he is stopping, but nothing doing – independence is not on his list of life values.