Quarrels? Ask any couple what they’re arguing about, and you will hear several common themes. There are pain points, through which all the lovers. If you think that quarrel is a symptom of a bad relationship, you’re wrong. Once conflicts are resolved, you and your partner become closer, and means to move forward it will be much easier. The main thing is to choose constructive methods of solving problems. Here are the basic types of fights that you up with a guy probably faced or will face.
Almost all the major quarrels in pairs down to two things: the boundaries and expectations. What things in the relationship the two of you relate and what you would prefer not to involve the guy?
From the very beginning of the relationship you need to find out what you need from each other, so the quarrel on this subject is inevitable.
This is the time when you get to know each other, but afraid of directly formulating the boundaries and requirements, so as not to scare his partner’s queries, says psychotherapist Vienna Pharaoh. It is very important to be direct if you want the relationship to be continued because essentially you set the conditions of your interaction.
The most common cause of conflict are the moments that have never been discussed. Many couples do not decide such issues as daily duties, expectations at the beginning of the novel. Even if you eventually make it through the fight, in the long run, your relationship will be healthier.
2. Financial issues
One of the most awkward and unavoidable fact that you will face in a relationship, the money issue. You begin to live together, and suddenly the style of expenditure or the size of the salary be your problem.
The trouble with money in itself is a stress, so they reinforce any other problem in the relationship. To find a solution for marriage therapist Anita Chlipala advises to first determine what is important to each of you and why. Then you need to look for a compromise. For example, if you want to save, and all the time he spends, agree to defer some amount of money to have a safety cushion.
During the honey month or honeymoon period, it is difficult to imagine what you are going to fight over sex. Attraction occurs naturally and easily, inflames passion without doping and effort. But as soon as this phase ends, it’s a bit slowing down, becoming boring, and it can create some serious sexual tension.
The key is to remain open with her man, even if it is super uncomfortable. Many of the problems you will encounter in the bedroom are solved with one conversation, so don’t expect the partner to read your mind. We have already given tips for sex in a long-term relationship, so you have to save your intimate life.
4. communication Style
This is probably the most important kind of fight, after which you will be able to come to the same decision in other conflicts. You must determine what words or statements towards each other is unacceptable. In addition, it is important that you both felt that your partner heard you.
How many times a peaceful dialogue with my boyfriend turned into a quarrel due to the fact that one person does not understand what the other wants to say. Over time, we realized that if the conversation stalled, it is better to stop and to paraphrase, until we are confident that talking about one and the same. Only in this case can come to a constructive solution.
Take responsibility for what you want and need, and stay away from blaming the other. – advises Vienna Pharaoh. — In healthy relationships, partners experience and the other person’s feelings as important as their own. When you are on emotions and frustrated, it can be very difficult — I understand completely. But trust me, this is a game changer.
Conflict is an important part of a relationship. I suggest you to think about them not as that divide you, but as a way of telling about your boundaries and capabilities to learn what is truly important to your man. The more constructive you argue, the less you will do it eventually.