There are many ways to destroy a relationship — infidelity, money problems, toxic habits. But the most offensive, to break up not because of their own mistakes, and because of the negative influence of parents. Tell how the family of the partner can ruin your life and what you can do to avoid this.
1. Crossing borders
Talking about the situation when parents partner talking to you or even to others in your family to give advice or to Express an opinion about your boyfriend ways. Some would call this confidential communication, I think this behaviour is a faux pas.
As noted by psychiatrist Dr. Ben Michaelis:
Every time a parent refers to the partner of their child or his family, the boundaries intersect. If they have any concerns about your relationship, they need to speak to their son.
The problem is that you can hardly talk to the parents of her husband as frankly as with their own. The best way to keep border to define them from the beginning. If you’re sharing details of your personal life with his parents, don’t be surprised that they will go with the advice.
2. Too strong attachment
The monster of all monsters, a Mama’s boy. The worst option, when it is strongly tied to the mother, and she perceives you as a competitor. Instead, motivate him to resolve conflicts and strengthen the relationship, she will consider you a threat.
In this case, much depends on the partner and his willingness to cut the cord and tell your mom the most important words in the life of every boy “leave me alone”. If it is not motivated to take this step adolescence, then maybe you will.
3. The Imposition of their family expectations
If your partner is from another culture or his parents are very conservative, it will be a serious obstacle to your relationship.
Any difference is socio-economic status, race, religious beliefs will be a problem if his family is not willing to show tolerance.
To you, their views may seem prejudice, but they see it as the preservation of their beliefs.
Well, if you take and share their values. But you don’t have to bend and raise a family the way the parents want a boyfriend. Most importantly, your Outlook on the life shared partner.
4. Shifting their problems on children
Problems in relations between the parents of the boy could affect him indirectly in the form of internalized toxic behaviours or directly.
To help his family normal, but sometimes parents act like petulant children require too much attention, to involve children in their personal or overly domestic helplessness. Yes, once we behaved with them as well, but is it appropriate to compare the behaviour of the baby with the behaviour of a Mature person?
It is important that the partner could find a balance between your life and the lives of his parents. In addition, it needs to understand the difference between their relationship and relationships with his mom and dad. If they are all dysfunctional, it does not mean that he is not able to build a healthy family.
5. Manipulating you with money
If the partner still takes money from parents, they receive an additional level of influence on your relationship. Financial participation can easily navigate to other areas of your life.
Do not have parents do it maliciously. They rightly argue that while you depend on them, they have the right to intervene.
The optimal solution to this problem is to acquire self – sufficiency. Independence is more important than of domestic comfort. Well, if the partner shares this point of view and gets rid of the habit to constantly refer to their parents for help.
Before you start to hate the family of her boyfriend, understand that they may not even realize that prevents you. Most likely, she’s just doing what he thinks is right and normal.
In addition, the problem can be not only in them but also in the partner. A helpless man at any age not just to rely on parental support.