Sexuality: Recommendations for a healthy sex life, which translates mass culture that influence our ideas about sex. It does not matter, you follow these tips or not. Sex education emancipates people, raises important issues, but also forms certain stereotypes. They dedicated the book “Mediated intimacy: sex advice in media culture,” written by Meg John Barker, Rosalind Gill and Laura Harvey.
Researchers studied sexual aids, blogs, magazines, reality shows, newspapers, apps, and other media sources. Nevertheless, as the authors acknowledge, most recommendations regarding sex form pernicious beliefs. Here are just five of the harmful messages that researchers found in most sex tips.
1. There is a script for the “right” sex
Standard plan “kiss the girl — remember the chest — shove your dick in her” held by many men. Do not think that this is just my observation. On the set of typical sexual scripts tips for great sex says sex therapist Claire Staunton. Even those recommendations that fall outside of this formula, by default, assume that the penetration better than other types of sexual activity.
On the one hand, these rules helped us understand what to do and what to expect if you have naked nice man. On the other – many hard to imagine the intimate life as something else. Contact without penetration is not considered for full sex, although it is possible to get no less pleasure. But beliefs about “right” and “wrong” sex does not only exclude other erotic practices. The following scenarios do not think about what exactly you want and share it with a partner.
2. Some bodies are sexy, others are not.
This is one of the negative influences of mass culture: to do good sex and to enjoy it, a person will certainly have to look perfect. No one wants to think that a fat fifty-year-old body is also capable of orgasm.
I’m not a fan of body positive, hairy armpits and jelly-like thighs in tight tights. Tips on how to look sexy, only create psychological clamps and eternal dissatisfaction. The complexes interfere with enjoying sex more than small Breasts or excess weight.
3. The quality of your sex depends on your loneliness.
Sexual problems almost always have in mind a specific person or couple. Few people purposely Fuck bad or not getting pleasure from sex. Women are taught to improve themselves in different sexual techniques – secret techniques the virtuoso oral sex, unusual positions sex toys. It’s not all bad, and the ability to do a Royal Blowjob will help you out in life. But it is necessary to pay more attention to how social and cultural stereotypes limit our opportunities for sexual pleasure. For example, the attitude toward oral sex in pairs is still not very clear. Sex cannot be a set of specific skills and movements – he always includes a range of cultural, social and other facilities which are not to overcome in one sentence: “do Not be ashamed”.
4. Pleasure is necessary but limited
Sex tips stress that we all need to experience sexual pleasure. It is even considered a symptom of a healthy person and a normal relationship. Under the pleasure is meant the only orgasm – this is something for which all afoot. This focused approach to sex creates unnecessary pressure and interfere with relaxation. You focus on “and if I can, can he.” Most of the advice is to just set certain actions without paying attention to the complex intertwining of pleasure and other feelings: debt, shame, frustration, relief.
5. The most important thing is to please the partner.
Sex tips contrary to normal respect to yourself and not mention any action in the sex requires mutual consent. Women are taught in any case not to refuse a man. The girl must agree to any forms of sex, do they, even if you do not want. It is believed that this is necessary in order not to lose the relationship and keep a man in a pair. The absolute majority of sexual advice for women boils down to how to give pleasure, not receive it.
We are not against self-development and sexual feelings, and tell you how to improve your skills in bed. Just remember that you need to improve the way you feel, and not to please someone.