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How past relationships interfere with your happiness


Past relationships: Those who are “not lucky in love” know this feeling: the relationship is new. Other guys, other interests, other life, but problems, insults and disappointment are the same. If you are stuck in this wheel of unfortunate novels, it’s time to pay attention to how past relationships affect your present.

Family therapist Nicole Richardson points out that previous pain and resentment from family or romantic relationships is the main reason why people develop negative thinking in relationships with people in general.

Family therapist Nicole Richardson points out that previous pain and resentment from family or romantic relationships is the main reason why people develop negative thinking in relationships with people in general.



Experienced betrayal can distort your view of a new relationship and complicate them. According to the therapist Jasmine Terreni, deceived people are protected from a possible new betrayal, choosing the position of “guilty until proven otherwise”:

If you have cheated, you most likely will guard your heart and expect that it will happen again. This creates a problem in creating true intimacy.

Try to remember that a new partner is a different person, and not all guys are the same. Openly talk about their fears related to past experiences, but don’t deny the opportunity to earn your trust.



If you ever suddenly thrown, fear of failure can permanently be your immunity against new loves.
Terreni advises those who find it hard to build relationships because of fear of betrayal, not ashamed of their emotions, and take care of yourself and to be open:

It is important to understand that the goal is to be safe in your vulnerability and to avoid vulnerability. It is important not just to “give his heart”, but remember that you are responsible for yourself.

You don’t need to be closed emotionally, to feel safe in the relationship. It is impossible to completely exclude the possibility of losses, but you can learn to cope with this stress and move on.

You saw only a sexual object

You saw only a sexual object

Sex is important but not the main element in the relationship. If you felt before that last partner used you just for physical intimacy, this can interfere with intimacy in the future.

The stereotypical reproach, “do you want me to only one” came out of nowhere. Men often see women only as a sexual object. Confronted with this attitude once, it is difficult to convince yourself that not everyone is interested in only your body.

Not to fall into the trap of their own sexuality, try not to pay attention to the behavior of the partner, but also to control his mixed signals. Don’t get too focused on sex to interest the man is an insecure Foundation for a relationship.

The lack of emotional intimacy

The lack of emotional intimacy

The absence of a trusting overt contact in the past can force you to build unnecessary artificial boundaries in these relationships.

The inability to share feelings may occur for a variety of reasons. One of them – if you’ve ever been vulnerable, but then decided to completely shut down.

Hurt the people who decided to never show feelings, find a little joy in a new relationship, says relationship expert Susan winter. – The new partners are also affected by their emotional closeness.

The man is difficult to open up if he’s never experienced emotional intimacy.
Regardless of why you find it hard to Express emotions, it is important to work on this problem. As noted by Jasmine Terreni:

The more comfortable you become with yourself, the easier it is to share your whole “me” with another.

An honest conversation with your partner about some of your problems may be the first step to emotional intimacy.

Denial of guilt

Denial of guilt

Another important issue that can affect your new relationship – the inability to admit their past mistakes. If you constantly deny their guilt, do not find a healthy way to build a relationship with someone new.

It is not necessary to carry old habits to solve problems by scandals and blame the partner in life with another person. As stressed by Susan winter, we must be willing to change in order to avoid past failures:

Without doing that, we simply repeat our mistakes. We blame each new partner that comes into our lives. It’s their fault, and we are again the victims. This belief keeps us in a state of stagnation and inability to move forward.

What do you think?

Hannah Veteran

Written by Hannah

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