The absence of physical infidelity does not always mean that everything is in order in your relationship. There is another kind of betrayal – financial infidelity. It strikes twice: according to your emotions and financial stability. I’ll tell you how to understand that a guy is not honest with you in the material plan, and what to do about it.
Why is it so harmful?
Financial infidelity violates trust in relationships and interferes with your long-term material plans. In addition, sometimes it accompanies physical treason: a partner needs resources to establish relations on the side.
Signs of financial infidelity
Unexplained withdrawals from the family budget
You do not have to correspond to certain roles and have the right to choose your way of managing money. But it is important that you both understand who invests in the family budget and where the total money goes. If you notice expenses on your accounts that seem unusual, you should discuss this with a guy.
Changing Monetary Habits
We do not call for a total shadowing and seek treachery where it does not exist. Pay attention only to what obviously deviates from the usual financial habits of your partner. If earlier he quietly sent you to the store with his card, and now prefers to share only cash, maybe he has a reason to hide the state of his account.
Unified control over all finances
Focusing the whole budget in the hands of one of the partners is not very fair, but many couples use this type of financial management. If your boyfriend insists on using all the money he has, make sure that you have access to all accounts. By abstracting from material questions, you yourself give him an excuse to deceive your trust.
Unwillingness to talk about money
In the relationship, the discussion of even personal accounts is not taboo. This is normal if you do not throw all the money into the overall budget, but the guy should be able to talk constructively about his financial condition. If a man walks away from talking, how much money he has left before the end of the month, will you be calm in a long-term relationship with him?
Hides his debts
This is the most destructive kind of financial betrayal. After a year of living together to find out that he has a million loan or he borrowed a large amount of money from someone – this negates all the trust, and your joint plans for life go to hell.
The habit of lending a secret from a partner is no better than concealing debts. At the beginning of the relationship, agree that you will discuss all major spending – including loans to friends and relatives.
How to prevent financial betrayal
Discuss financial issues early in life together
Most couples face several types of financial problems, which we have already told you about. Open talk about money at the very beginning of cohabitation will help prevent many conflicts or it is easier to get out of them. Do not be shy to ask how much he earns, what big purchases he dreams about and whether he has debts.
Create individual stocks of “free money”
There is a way to manage finances in a relationship that will satisfy everyone: every month, put aside a certain amount in the family budget, and leave part of the earnings for personal expenses. Agree that for this money you should not report to each other, and you can spend them as you want.
How to restore relationships after financial treason
Find out the reason
Why did he hide his expenses from you: he was afraid of your reaction, did not want to worry, did not consider it necessary to dedicate you to this? If it’s not that he has someone else, you can restore trust in the relationship.
Take temporary control of finances for yourself.
This is necessary for your peace of mind. Agree that he will regularly talk about all his spending or your entire budget will be with you. Remember that it is necessary to restore trust, and not to punish the guy.
Create a common financial goal
Nothing strengthens relations like a joint mortgage. The best way to get back on track is to start saving for a common dream. If it is not ripe for buying a house, let it be a joint vacation or a car. Reviewing common goals will help both of you to remember why you decided to spend your life with this person.