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How to resist microtrauma in relationships?


Microtrauma: On to enters life unnoticed. In pages of unfamiliar girls in the browser history, correspondence with “the classmate, you haven’t seen” persistent likes someone else’s Instagram. This microzone. It is not enough to end the relationship, but over time the unpleasant episodes accumulate, destroying trust. To respond to such behaviour more complicated than the obvious betrayal. Here’s how to resist microsteam in the relationship.

Be prepared that he will say: “It means nothing”


The main argument of protection in the case of microzone is that there was no sex, and therefore of a crime, too. To prove that betrayal is possible without physical intimacy is not easy, because the evidence is not unequivocal. Put like under the photo of some girl? Accidentally pressed when flipping a tape. On five shots in a row? The damn sensor is absolutely not in control!

Of course, a couple of likes is not a reason for hysterics. But when micro changes are consistent, they accumulate, turning into a disrespectful attitude towards you.

The guy may not understand what offends you

What annoyed me most about the ex-boyfriend was the stupid habit of winking at everyone when they met and disgustingly snapping their tongues. When he winked and clicked on me, it did not cause rejection. But when it turned out that this was not a manifestation of sympathy, but something like a greeting, I began to suspect him of flirting with every passer-by.

Some people are just not capable of flirting. They do not give their friendly style of communication much sense, and without knowing it, send mixed signals. If your boyfriend is a funny type, he may not even realize that he offends you with greasy jokes with other girls. True, this character trait manifests itself when we first met, and not after a year of relationships. If his words “it means nothing to me” sound too convincing, perhaps it is. It’s time to discuss the boundaries and explain to the partner that the good boys do not behave this way.

Explain how you feel

Explain how you feel

Try to avoid accusations, as this will put a guy in a protective stance. Focus on what you feel. Try to explain how his behaviour is affecting your relationship and what you would like from him instead.

You don’t need to argue about what is considered an act of treason or not. More importantly, how you both feel about it. If a man cherishes you, for it will not be difficult to stop acting like an asshole.

Make sure it’s not you

The unpleasant conversation again considers what is happening to you, and make sure it’s not your paranoia. Sometimes jealousy does not need a specific reason if there is a deeper reason: a distrust of the partner, fear of being lonely, self-doubt. Maybe the problem is in your head, not in his behaviour.

It is important to assume that everyone is able to deal with treason. Monitoring activity in social networks or telephone surveillance will not reduce this possibility. Trust your gut instinct and do not despise common sense.

Think what may be the cause of his behaviour

Think that may be the cause of his behavior

When all is well, flirting with other people or friendship with the opposite sex are not significant. However, if you don’t notice this behaviour for a guy, perhaps in his frustration, and I’m not talking about sex. New penfriend, a close relationship with a colleague can be due to the fact that his lack of communication or understanding in your relationship. Unfortunately, any emotional intimacy risk of developing into a romantic, so you should openly talk about what you have going on.

Discuss the boundaries

It is not clear exactly when it is worth discussing the limits of acceptable behaviour, which, as is known, each has its own. But if the guy has already broken them, be sure – the time has come. After an honest conversation, he will no longer have the opportunity to pretend that he did not want to offend you and did it unintentionally.

Microzone not necessarily destroys a relationship, but it can alienate you from each other. If you feel anxiety, just talk about what is happening to you, and not suffer guesses. Even if we are not talking about physical intimacy with another girl, don’t let your partner devalue your emotions and claim that this is the norm.

What do you think?

Hannah Veteran

Written by Hannah

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