Neither an impressive sexual experience, nor the presence of children, nor even a great relationship between partners does not guarantee that a woman reaches the climax in the final sex.
Unfortunately, orgasm is not a frequent guest in the bed of even the most loving lovers. Why does this happen and is it worth worrying about?
Hunting for an orgasm?
Sexologists decided to calculate how often women have problems with orgasm. And here’s what we found out. After three years of marriage, one in five still knows about orgasms only from books and movies, but not from personal experience. Among women with more than ten years of marital experience, 10% have never reached the peak of pleasure.
And in general, for 15% of the entire beautiful half of humanity, orgasm is as intricate a concept as the Chinese character. In short, orgasm does not visit every bedroom. We asked Yuriy Gurzhenko, a sexologist-andrologist, MD, senior researcher at the Institute of urology and Nephrology of the National Academy of Medical Sciences of Ukraine, about how to attract him there.
Orgasm on the shelves
In Greek, orgao means “to burn with passion”. The translation perfectly reflects the essence of the question. Medical dictionaries translate this term as “a high degree of voluptuous sensation that occurs at the moment of completion of sexual intercourse or other forms of discharge.” Having experienced an orgasm once, a person tends to experience it again. The female orgasm is more prolonged than the male, and, like the male, it can have a peak character, when waves of pleasure follow one another almost without intervals.
The clitoral orgasm stands out, which, according to experts, is only half the way that a woman has passed in the direction of aerobatics of sensations. Another thing is clitoral-vaginal discharge. Its onset is preceded by a feeling of weightlessness in the lower abdomen, a feeling of warmth spreading from the pelvic organs throughout the body. Then there are involuntary rhythmic contractions of the muscles of the vagina, uterus, buttocks, and complete Nirvana.
7 discharge conditions
Absolute anorgasmia (lack of orgasm during regular sexual life) occurs to sexologists in one case against a hundred. Rare, one might say exceptional women never, under any circumstances, experience an orgasm. The cause is an abnormality of intrauterine development of certain parts of the brain and endocrine system. Such ladies are indifferent to sex in any of its manifestations.
But if interest in sex and pleasant feelings in the process are still there, only discharge does not come, doctors talk about “secondary frigidity” – a condition associated with a delay in the development of sexual feeling. Perhaps this is poor consolation, but a fairly high percentage of women begin to reach orgasm only a few years after marriage (often it comes to them only after giving birth). However, there are several conditions that can prevent a woman from finding herself at the top point of pleasure.
A short prelude
How long do you usually make love-from the first touch to the climax? This is important because there appears to be a connection between the minutes of sex and the quality of the relationship. The Americans, as always, have calculated everything. Couples who enjoy each other for at least 20 minutes are usually happy with their partner and themselves. Express lovers who manage everything in seven minutes are usually disappointed in the relationship and dream of changes. Ideally, stretching the pleasure for at least half an hour is the time that a woman reaches orgasm.
Everyone knows that the hormone testosterone is responsible for sexual desire in both men and women. But only experts know that the brightness of the color of the orgasm in women is provided by the female hormone estrogen. If estrogen is in short supply, the sexual climax may be dull, or even not come at all.
The weak sexual Constitution
It can be high (in order for a woman to get into a state of arousal, 2-3 minutes of preliminary caresses are enough), medium (15-30 minutes), and weak (a man can spend a whole day, but nothing is achieved). Slavs (i.e., we are with you), as a rule, have an average sexual Constitution, which means that without twenty-minute foreplay, you can not count on an orgasm.
The pleasure of sexual intercourse largely depends on the duration of a man’s erection, his sexual activity, and his ingenuity. Not every partner who thinks of himself as a sexual giant knows that first, you should take care of the woman’s feelings, and only then about your own.
Muscle tears of the perineum after birth trauma
One of the conditions for the arrival of an orgasm is the formation of the so-called orgastic platform (or cuff), when the Central passage can be narrowed by almost 50% due to filling the walls of the vagina with venous blood. This is the key to bright feelings! In the orgasmic phase, the orgasmic platform makes 3-5 (sometimes up to 10-15) rhythmic contractions with an interval of 0.8 seconds.
The more contractions, the more intense the orgasm. In the first six months after the birth of a child, this scheme almost does not work, because the tone of the vaginal muscles is reduced, but soon all the wonderful experiences return again. Prevent the achievement of orgasm may well be birth tears of the perineal muscles, because of which the blood filling of the walls of the vagina is disrupted.
The cost of education
Quite often the fault of “secondary frigidity” and disharmony in marital relations is banal female modesty (men’s, by the way, too). The variety of options on how we will do this today is perceived as something indecent. Moreover, considering that it is not appropriate for a good woman to Express her feelings, the partner hides her emotions in a distant drawer, as a result, sex becomes bland, boring, monotonous. As a man, Dr. Gurzhenko declares with all responsibility: any manifestations of female sensuality-from moans to bites-are perceived by the opposite sex with a Bang.
Antipathy to the partner
In sexology, cases have been described where women have reached orgasm only with negative emotions – anger, disgust, fear (for example, at the time of rape). This is the so-called effective orgasm. But, fortunately, much more often partners rise to the highest level of pleasure, provided that at least they like each other. Since the command to orgasm in women is given by the Central nervous system, without positive emotions for a man, she will not succeed.
The process is too fast
For most people, “good” sex means” long ” sex. In fact, to be “good and long”, it does not need that much. First, several times in the process of changing the pose-variety will prolong the pleasure. Secondly, use a condom: for those who are used to unprotected (but safe) sex, this accessory will save from a rapid finish. And third, be careful with alcohol! Even a small amount of alcohol significantly reduces the chances of long virtuoso sex.
And finally a few universal tips for a good sext from Dr. Gurzhenko:
talk about sex more often (discuss plans for the next night, movies, dreams, and fantasies together); meet new people, travel. New emotions and impressions shake-up, sharpen feelings, thoughts, and desires; do not mope or cough. It is important to maintain a basic state of well-being-without it, erotic batteries quickly run out; do it regularly. The more often you have sex, the more interested you are in it; Visualize: Together watching porn movies and discussing them perfectly raises the erotic tone.
The best time to have sex
Good sex is good at any time of the day. But making love in the morning, there’s an additional bonus. First, from 7 to 9 in the morning, the male blood is the hottest: at this time, the daily maximum of testosterone is boiling in it, which means that desires and opportunities are at a height. Secondly, morning sex is less energy-consuming than night sex.
The head is still fresh, the mood is not spoiled – nothing prevents you from enjoying each other. Third, orgasms in the morning stimulate the release of hormones endorphins, and they increase immunity and stress resistance. Well, then, there is an interesting study by scientists: the career status and earnings of people who practice morning sex are higher than those who ignore it. Who else is wasting time in the morning-it’s time to change tactics!