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Why in oral sex prevails gender inequality?

oral sex

My opinion, the healthiest relationship in oral sex – “you tell me, I thee.” If a man needs a Blowjob, he must be prepared to reciprocate and Vice versa. Not everyone will share this point of view. The stereotype that oral sex in male – host and female — giving remains widespread.

In a study published in the American Journal of human sexuality in 2016, it is noted that about a quarter of women admitted that they had a Blowjob, but had never received oral sex in return. Among men in this situation, and was only 10% of respondents. The reason for gender inequality in oral sex is not always in the men’s reluctance, it’s often women themselves refuse to me this pleasure.

That’s what the sexologists tell us about the attitude of their clients to perform oral sex and problems with him in pairs.

Laurel Steinberg, a clinical sexologist, a specialist in the relationship

The majority of women and men in pairs, which I’m considering oral sex as a pleasurable part of a healthy sexual relationship. The idea of “special rules” — that women are givers and men receivers – is outdated. It is unfair to both sides: men missed a great opportunity to give pleasure, and women miss how fun and feeling that she is valued. Sometimes I saw some girls worried that their partners don’t want to do cunnilingus because of the smell or taste. It has negatively affected those relationships led to feelings of rejection and low self-esteem.

I teach couples what’s really important to have in the Arsenal of a variety of sexual acts that the sex does not become routine. In addition, because, at times, couples may not engage in vaginal sex for a variety of reasons, oral sex ensures that the couple will always have an active sex life.

Clinical Sexologist

Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, licensed psychotherapist

We all choose our sexual boundaries. But I hear from many women that they are upset that their partner refuses to have oral sex because of the prejudice that it’s rude or weird. I don’t think it’s acceptable to respond negatively about the body of your partner and his desires. Couples should have reciprocity — it’s not cool to ask your partner to do what you’re not willing to do in response.

Stephen Snyder, a sex therapist, Professor of psychiatry at the medical faculty of the Icahn

Many problems with the idea of giving someone oral sex. The erotic mind is fundamentally selfish. He doesn’t understand the idea of giving. Much better to think about oral sex as a kind of “reception”. You should do this only if you like it, and not only just to bring your partner to orgasm, or hear them moan. If you don’t want to do that, then find another way to get them to moan that you really like.

As a sexologist, I think the idea that all sex must automatically assume oral pleasure, just incorrect. No one should automatically participate in the sexual act that they do not like. Sometimes people try so to satisfy the desires of their partner’s generosity. But it’s almost always a mistake. Over time, it leads to the accumulation of negative feelings and prevents your attraction to another person. Best to stick with sexual activities that you both like.


Kimberly Resnick, a certified sex therapist, Professor of Psychiatry

Most men who approach me, interested in pleasing her partner by any means possible. They complain that oral sex is prohibited. They want to deliver oral pleasure, but women are not allowed to do. Women often feel uncomfortable receiving oral sex because of the possible unpleasant odours of their genitals or the belief that oral sex is a shame.


Naghma Clark, a licensed sex therapist

Working as a sex therapist, I noticed that oral sex continues to be a controversial topic among heterosexual couples. On the one hand, there are couples who think oral sex is a very important part of their sexual repertoire. On the other hand, I see couples where one partner loves oral sex and the other not.

From women, I hear things like “I hate blow jobs” or “I don’t swallow, and he gets mad when I spit out,” or “blowjobs are only for special occasions.” From men I hear, “she doesn’t want me down below” or “she gets upset when I go down below, and she can’t reach orgasm.” Some will say: “It’s not for me, I don’t, I never did.”

I really wonder how many women are concerned about what they taste or smell. This is usually the main reason they don’t want the partner gave them oral sex. Men rarely report any concerns about how they smell or what they taste like! In addition, women more than men, feel obliged to engage in oral sex. They sucked because their partner expects them to do and they want to please him.

Oral sex is not a mandatory attribute of normal sexual life. If it is, and mutual, was excellent. If not, and both are happy with it — keep it up. This kind of sexual activity becomes a problem because of a mismatch of interests. The only possibility to solve the discussion. The man must understand that it is not right to force a girl to Blowjob if she’s against it or he is not ready to be mutual. Women are not bad to admit that to enjoy with cunnilingus they interfere with psychological barriers and ignorance of their own anatomy, not that the kind of sex they are not perfect.

What do you think?

Hannah Veteran

Written by Hannah

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