These thoughts are hard to admit even to me. You have been in a relationship for a long time, you treasure them, but you are increasingly beginning to remember the time when you were lonely. Nostalgia for freedom is familiar to almost everyone who has been living with a partner for a long time. Do you need to fight it, and does this mean that your relationship has exhausted itself? I talked to girls and guys about whether they are depressed for a lonely life and how to cope with this feeling. Here are some tips for those who are happy in a relationship, but want to be alone.
Remember that you love your boyfriend more than the newness of dating
Marina, 24 years
I like Dating. Love the feeling and new thoughts about what would come of it. Like look forward to the posts or think about what will be the first kiss. It’s incredibly exciting, I feel like a different person, extraordinary, bold, attractive.
More of all these things I only love my boyfriend. I have many warm memories of Dating, but even if they remain only in memory.
Sometimes it can be just a desire to be alone and not be lonely
Anastasia, 27 years
Sometimes I just want to sleep alone or to decorate the home to your taste without any compromises. I still love my husband and want him to be, but sometimes you need personal space. Not so much want to be a free girl, how to spend time alone with him. Although sometimes these feelings are easily confused.
Remember that you today are different from the one you were at the time of the last loneliness
Paul, 32 years
My wife and all is well, but still rolls longing for a lonely life, hanging out with friends without obligations and restrictions. And we both think so and even discussed how cool it would be to be free again. However, when we talked, we came to the conclusion that you do not want to live without a relationship. We want to be alone and 20-year-old, to go back in time and live highlights. Miss the time when I was younger. The College years are associated with bachelor life, that’s why she seems so enticing. Although, if you imagine that now I would be the one, it is clearly not going to get past the pleasure of partying and freedom.
Take separate vacations
Lily, 25 years
Do I long for the time when I was lonely? I would not call it longing, rather a rush, like the desire to eat chocolate ice cream.
Being in a relationship is very different from free life. Every night I come home to her husband Wake up with him, talking daily. You can’t just go out and do anything. Want to buy a car – take it up with the other person. Decided to update the furniture – talk it over with your partner. Any action is the discussion. Yes, you’re still an individual, but each event in life requires teamwork.
On the one hand, it brings a lot of peace and comfort when you overcome all difficulties with someone. But sometimes I have a desire to have no ties and to be responsible for myself.
Once a year, we both take separate holidays at least two weeks. At this time we pretend to be alone and agree that in General, we do not communicate with each other. Although usually still interrupt the silence prematurely.
Distance in the relationship helps to remember about your feelings
Alex, 29 years old
I would not call it longing, but I have been married for 10 years, and I have moments when I miss a lonely childless life. I can tell my wife that I need to be alone, and she goes with the children to rest somewhere for the weekend. I am glad that she understands me, although she does not feel the same desire. In any case, one day is enough for me to start missing them.
Sometimes the problem is only in you, and not in the fact that your relationship is bad
Eugene, 23 years
I have the sad feeling that I don’t have to pay more attention to anyone else. Sometimes I dream about some adventure, dangerous situations or meeting new people is what helped me to feel alive. In addition, I keep worrying that I will never feel the feeling of love. Of course, I may fall in love with your boyfriend again and again, but it’s nothing compared to the very first emotions.
At the same time, I understand that this pursuit of adrenaline, which lead to nothing. I love our relationship, and if it wasn’t for my intemperate nature, I wouldn’t have any thoughts on the virtues of solitude.
The first thing you should know about the desire to be a free girl is perfectly normal. Being a long time in one position singles or partnerships, people will inevitably begin to yearn for the opposite condition and there is nothing wrong.
It is important to follow this feeling impulsive and not to ignore it but to analyze thoroughly and understand what makes you tick. It’s a craving for new emotions, a lack of space in the relationship or dissatisfaction with them? If the desire to be alone does not let go, maybe you should take a little time to prioritize. Sometimes, to understand how you care about people, quite separate vacations.
The status “in a relationship doesn’t mean you automatically should not miss the loneliness or to pay attention to other men. Sometimes the desire to be free again only says that next to you, not the person.