In social networks — a brutal man growth 170, in the life of a boy with a beard, the top of which is level with your eyes. In correspondence witty, romantic, date — eloquent as Bob from Kevin Smith’s movies. Where were your eyes when you agreed to go out with him? And why the chance to find a nice guy online no more than speed Dating.
Communicating on the Internet, you see only his best side
The important thing on a Dating site to find a partner and make an impression, why else would so many people lie shamelessly to the information on the page. According to the study site OkCupid, one-third the most popular photos on the site for more than a year, and therefore does not necessarily reflect the actual appearance of the owner. In addition, many users exaggerate their position, salary and even lying about their height – which is quite illogical.
Because the user decides what details about themselves to share, few mention its shortcomings.
People are struggling to show their best side at the initial stage of relations, — said Ph. D., Professor of Social Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Madison Catalina Toma. – So basically you see only the positive things about a potential partner.
The less you know someone, the more inclined to think
Social networks and Dating apps give so little information about a person that is easy to diaconate qualities that look for in a partner, and independently. If all you know about the guy – he has a good job and he also loves “Game of Thrones”, you inevitably focus on these positive qualities and your similarities.
The further you postpone the first date, so you have more possibilities for imaginations. Therefore, to build a relationship on the Internet is much easier than in real life.
Text messages can create the illusion of closeness
In life, we are not so easily find a common language with strangers. Behind the screens of smartphones bolder, here do not feel awkward pauses and do not see the real reaction of the interlocutor. Because of this it after a couple of witty messages you may find that you have a connection with.
If in person ironic sure chatterbox will be timid and introverted, you’re going to wrestle with what has become of him? You saw the real him – that’s what. When someone writes great lyrics, you have no idea: “He writes great lyrics,” you think, “This guy has a crush on me.”
You have no experience in a serious relationship
If you’ve never dated with someone for a long time and has not been through a breakup, most likely, you’ll be more enthusiastic to relate to the potential partner.
According to Professor of Psychological Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Susan Wilborn, the only real experience will help to pay less attention to words that sound too good to be true. You have to understand that the impression made on the Internet, it means very little.
You have high expectations
It was one thing to want much from the relationship, in principle, another to put too much faith in a person you see for the first time.
If you’re really looking for a guy, not just having fun, it is difficult to treat Dating as a way to spend the evening. You’re wasting your time and energy, but also gain invaluable experience that abruptly all the books and stories of friends. Do not build high expectations, but don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
What to do
To include the head needed at the stage of correspondence. We already told you how to understand that the guy from the Internet exaggerates their achievements.
If you want a real relationship, obviously, you don’t need to embellish his biography. Be honest and don’t be afraid to scare the boy more likely that you will not disappoint at the meeting.
Don’t be too critical. If in reality, the man did not match the image that you painted in your head, that doesn’t mean he’s not right for you. How much would you have not corresponded, met in life, you start again.